Statistical Possibility
by Seersha
Summary: There had been a line not too long ago, between close friends and something more, and now you wonder where that line has disappeared. AU futurefic, Clois.


**TITLE:** Statistical Possibility

**AUTHOR:** Seersha

**RATING:** K+

**PAIRING:** Lois/Clark

**SPOILERS:** Season 4

**DISTRIBUTION:** Please do not archive anywhere. It will be up at FF if you would like to link to it.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own these characters (obviously) and no copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this fanfiction.

**TIMELINE:** AU futurefic.

**SUMMARY:** There had been a line not too long ago, between close friends and something more, and now you wonder where that line has disappeared.

**NOTE:** Originally published November 2004.

.-.-.

Your name is Clark Kent and you can't remember a time when you felt more nervous. Even asking Chloe to the high school dance or kissing Lana for the first time hadn't made your knees shake. But your knees are definitely shaking now.

You know the statistical possibility of the answer being yes is probably one in a million. You know the score. You know the risks.

You've spent the last eight years getting to know Lois Lane and you think by now you know her pretty well. Of course you are not silly enough to mention anything of the sort in front of her because you know what her reaction to that would be, too.

Chloe is the one you blame for thinking too much about statistics. So many high school mornings had begun with her jumping into a heated discussion that started with, "Statistically speaking, Clark, Smallville has had more deaths since the meteor shower than the past five decades before that combined." Then she would be off, rattling on about all sorts of weird things and listing statistics and facts by memory. At the time you remember feeling a touch amused, but mostly exasperated by her need to tell you how likely it was for you to die within the next six months.

You wish Chloe were here at this moment so that you could ask her what she thought your chances were now. You can almost imagine what she would say. "Well, Clark, considering that thus far every time you've attempted to ask her you've chickened out - and the time you did ask she rejected you - I think your odds are one in a million."

It was the only time any woman ever rejected you outright. Chloe, Lana, Lori... all names with different meanings at different times and different memories. At one time or another they all meant something to you, but they had all fallen without a second glance. This was the first time you ever truly worried about such a moment feeling like it could be the end of the world.

The only time you actually asked Lois was almost three years ago. You think that's a pretty pathetic number in itself. It's taken you three years to gather the courage to ask again. Technically of course, you don't consider that one time to be a complete rejection. The words had been out of your mouth before you had enough time to give it rational thought and at the time she'd obviously thought you were joking.

"Nice one, Kent, you almost had me. Little piece of advice. Next time, try not to stutter so much, okay?"

It was good advice and you hope you won't get tongue tied this time.

You do wonder on occasion, what would have happened if Lois had been like Chloe or Lana or Kyla or Lori and fallen for you, stumbled into you and made it so easy. All those years that could have been much, much more than that feeling of something missing. Every night spent alone, wishing for the ache to go away. If Lois had just grabbed you and kissed you one day in the middle of an argument - and there had been so many arguments, so many chances and so many possibilities - would you have kissed her back?

No. It's a hard answer to admit to yourself but it is the truth. Lois would never have done such a thing and if - in some statistical glitch - she had, you would have pushed her away and looked at her as if she was crazy. You were too blind then to see what was right in front of you, but now you are glad it took you this long.

Somewhere in there, in a curve that should have been a straight line, everything had changed. You always had a need to believe in love and, yes, perhaps even destiny. The lines in your mind and heart blurred and you can't pinpoint the moment you started wanting what you thought you couldn't have and definitely shouldn't have been dreaming about. There had been a line not too long ago, between close friends and something more, and now you wonder where that line has disappeared.

It's real, what you feel. More real than anything else you've ever felt and you had always believed you knew what love was.

Love with Lana was floating, soaring, euphoria and finally easy friendship. Love with Chloe was stumbling, healing wounds inflicted upon each other and walls with broken edges. Love with Lori was patience and calm, enjoying a quiet ride along the river.

But this... wasn't love as you had ever known before. Love with Lois is falling, crashing and terror. She challenges you and makes your head hurt with too much talking. She touches you with piercing eyes and a steady look that tells you she'll never back down. Most of the time - make that ninety-nine percent of the time - you can never quite figure out what she is thinking. The other one percent of the time leaves you surprised. Or maybe just lucky that you guessed right.

There are flashes of connection sometimes that make you blink and pause to question if anything has changed between the two of you. Have your chances really increased in the last three years? Were those anomalies not just because of you, because of what you feel, but because of something she now feels for you too?

A certain look, smile on her face with longing in her eyes. But only for a second, not long enough for you to even be sure. Your mind wanders often into dreams of kissing and touching and things so far from reality that you can't ever be certain it's not just your imagination.

You know that she's never dreamed of you the way you've dreamed about her. If she knew that you thought about her lips and the exact shade of her eyes and wondered how her skin would feel against yours - more than just hands touching or cheeks accidentally brushing - she would probably see fit to slap your face.

You are her friend and colleague and if she wants you to think of her as something more, there is no way you can tell. The idea that Lois may return even one of the many emotions you feel for her in any capacity is enough to make your heart swell. But love - love is what you hope for the most.

You know that if her answer is no, disappointment will hit so hard you'll end up having to grab the desk with white knuckles just to keep standing. So, with your heart pounding, palms sweating and nerves stuck in your throat, you approach her slowly.

She has her back turned towards you, which you're relieved about because if you change your mind in the next few seconds she'll never know what a coward you are.

Swallowing, your mind runs through every possible answer. "Yes." "No." "Maybe." "Clark, that's sweet, but..."

Then your heart slams into your chest as she faces you suddenly, the most beautiful smile gracing her face as she spots you. You watch her eyes light up and it can't be anything less than magic.

"Hey, Smallville. What've you got for me? Please tell me Gunsberg gave a more interesting interview than Hudson did, because if we have to use Hudson's quotes we'll put our readers to sleep."

Your throat catches because she doesn't know. She is completely unaware of how hard your heart is pounding and how just her voice touches you in places you didn't know existed. The illusion that you could ever be "just friends" is so broken now it can't ever be repaired. For a moment you can almost forget she doesn't know how much you love her, because you're looking into the eyes of Lois Lane and that's all that really matters.

You try to put everything into that look - everything from the last eight years and everything you hope for the future. There is so much so say, so many things you wish you had said before now and not enough time. How could there ever be enough time for all the dreams and hopes and feelings that don't translate into any language you know (and you know nearly a hundred of them). You hope that your eyes say enough.

You know the statistical possibility of the answer being yes is probably one in a million, but if you don't ask now, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what the outcome could have been. So despite the fact that the odds are stacked against you, you know that you have to ask because if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life.

"Lois..." you start, tone soft, with a slightly desperate quality you can't seem to control. "I was just wondering, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?"

.-.-.

END

.-.-.

**Trivia:** For those who don't know, Lori (Lemaris) was Clark's college girlfriend in the comics. He cites Lori as his first "real" love and even asked her to marry him. Unfortunately for Clark, Lori was also a mermaid! Obviously when I imagine Lori existing in the Smallville universe she's no mermaid, but perhaps she's a champion swimmer, lol. For more info on Lori look her up at


End file.
